Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Should Jason Kidd be afraid of his wife?

A day after Jason Kidd claimed in divorce papers to be a victim of spousal abuse, his wife's attorney said the New Jersey Nets point guard had no reason to fear the diminutive woman.

"He says he's threatened by her? He's a star athlete. She's 5-foot-2, I think, and 105 pounds," said celebrity New York divorce lawyer Raoul Felder, one of the attorneys representing Joumana Kidd.

The perception by this lawyer is that a big man has nothing to fear from a tiny woman. And it's certainly true that if a man slaps a woman, he could break her jaw, whereas if a 5 ft 2 woman slaps a man, it might well feel like a pinprick.

But it's still physical abuse, and unfortunately women do slap "their man" and when he hits back - as more and more guys these days do - it's they who are up for assault.

I don't know the ins and outs of this case. I do know that I have always hated to watch Jason Kidd shoot free throws because of that stupid "blowing a kiss to his wife" schtick before hand.

It's very easy for a 5 ft 2 woman to verbally abuse a 6 ft 4 man. I have a friend, admittedly only 5' 8, who puts up with a verbally abusive wife every day. He's an old school guy which means he'd never hit her, and never leave her, but I think he'd be a lot happier if he left and his life would be extended for a few years.

There seems to be a perception - indeed, one I had myself at one time - that it is only men who physically abuse women, and only men who verbally abuse women, and that simply isn't true.

Women can hit men all they want, because men aren't allowed to hit back. And women nag and nag and nag until they drive the husband up the wall. Alternatively, they put the hubby down by demeaning his job, etc. etc.

This is why I have always hated such shows as Everybody Loves Raymond, with the roles played by Doris Roberts and Peter Boyle of the bickering, verbally abusive couple.

As far as I'm concerned, when you date a guy, or a gal, and they do something you don't like, dump them right then and there. Because they/you will never change. If a guy persists in throwing his clothes on the floor despite your constant requests for him not to do so, dump him. If you like to dump your clothes on the floor, have no intention of stopping, and wish the woman would just shut up about it, dump her. Don't make sacrifices that will eat away at you and eat away at you such that 10 years later you just snap, and look back on 10 years of hell.

THere's so many people out in the world that you'll be able to find someone who likes what you like, etc. and that's who you should try to find. It's the only way anyone is going to have a happy life.

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